Note: This chapter is written entirely by Nook.
I was raised with very basic principles; to never lie, cheat or steal. I can safely say I’ve never committed these acts with regards to the law. But context is everything.
I never set out to fall in love with Chair, it really happened because I found qualities in someone who mirrored that of my own. We’re very complimentary, a perfect pair.
When I woke up on the morning of March 5th I had no clue as to what might transpire. I was living a lie, but with the prospect of meeting Chair, I really had to seize the opportunity.
Chair was the one who made it all possible. Flying across the Atlantic, putting work on hold and spending a small fortune. All I had to do was meet him in the city, a mere train or car ride away for me.
I went about my typical morning routine in order to maintain this ruse. No one really knew about my actual whereabouts, but as the morning progressed I kept thinking what if my car breaks down or I get hurt? How could I ever explain to anyone as to where I was going and why. I decided to throw caution to the wind and off I went.
The walk through the hotel up to his room took a few minutes, but it literally felt like an hour had passed. My thoughts were muddied with the past and the pending; I was a woman torn. I knew in my head that I was fulfilling the role of an emotional adulteress. But could I or would I allow myself to let it get beyond that point of no return. Only time would tell.
When I finally reached Chair’s room, I knocked softly. I heard soft steps make their way towards the door and there he appeared. My heart leapt and soared all at once, but I didn’t want to come across as eager or desperate. Cool, calm and collected - a woman in control, but internally I was spiralling.
I, like Chair, will not disclose what we discussed, felt and experienced. But the weekend left me with questioning all that I had known and become.
Sunday was by far the worst day. I thought I had made up my mind.
With a heavy heart and a queasy stomach, I agreed to eat breakfast with Chair in public. It was probably the worst forty-five minutes of my life. I wouldn’t allow myself to be mentally present in that moment, because I was worried about getting caught. I had grown eyes on the back of my head and became too keen with my surroundings. The clanging of the pots and pans emanating from the kitchen pierced my ears with such intensity. I didn’t look at Chair that much; I only felt guilt whenever I did. After we finished our meal, we made our way back to his room and that’s when and where I spilled the beans...
I had an appointment that Sunday. I was to meet with the priest with my husband-to-be. However, I had lied to Chair about why I couldn’t spend the day with him; I wanted to spare bringing pain into what was truly the best weekend of my life. I admitted this to Chair and I could see tears in his eyes as I told him, but he never let them stream down.
I then told him about my decision to remain in my current relationship, to stay on course and get married in June. This would mean no Nook and Chair, no happy ending.
Chair respected my decision and never vocalized his desire for me to want him. He thanked me for my honesty and asked for me to return on Monday.
Our time had run out.
It was time for me to leave and go back to my day to day. And so we left the hotel together. It was an atypical day in March - absolutely beautiful and fully defying the melancholy of our present. We held hands, he asked and I obliged; I felt cruel for hurting this man and it was the least I could do in that moment.
Once we reached the corner near the train station where he was to meet his friends, he asked again for one more day with me and a hug. I said yes and we then embraced. Good byes were exchanged and off I walked. I knew the road curved, so I waited to reach that bend in the road to turn and look back. I was too late, he was gone.
During the ride down, I called my friend and admitted to her about where I was and who with. I think I shocked her. I owed her the truth, because I used her as my alibi. It was a quick exchange, but in that time she asked if I would see him again; I said no.
However, in my mind I knew this wasn’t over or was it?