2. Closer

A glimpse Fate.  Opportunity.  This story is full of both.

A twist of the former led to the latter and I was given an opportunity to change my life considerably.  A move to a foreign locale, a change of life, a change of scenery.  A chance to explore my career and life in a different way than I had ever expected.

I often joked, after the move, that had one told me only a few months before that where I moved to would be my home, that my life would change so considerably, that I would have called them insane.

And yet.

But move I did.  Away from Nook.  She was, then, but a friend.  A connection, however strong, which was bound within the confines of a computer display, a keyboard, a chat client.  I missed our regular contact after my move, but her life had also moved on.   University.

In 2003 there was a brief reconnection.  A series of mails, exchange of stories, a catching up.  She remembered me, she reached out, she told me about her experiences at University.  Her friends, her classes, studies.

And she told me she was (still) dating the same boy she met about the time I moved.

Mixed feelings

I don’t know how to describe how I reacted to that news.  Inappropriate jealousy?  Unwarranted depth of connection.  I had no connection to this woman beyond our chats.  Never heard her voice, barely seen a single image.

Yet there I was.  Feeling: “Oh.  Lucky man.  I wish that was me.”

I never told her.

How could I?  I was so many years her senior, so far away, it was never something we discussed together, and to this day I do not know why I reacted that way.

But it was a glimpse.