27. Forward

One step at a time.

 

As I have mentioned, both Nook and I are planners.  We think, we consider, we try to be considerate, and we do our best not to cause too much interference or pain to those around us.

But there are some situations which are unavoidable.

Nook has made a decision.

A life changing decision.

She has chosen a path in which she’ll be placing a phenomenal amount of trust in me - and she does so with hardly a moment’s hesitation.  If you’ve ever been loved, and trusted, this much by someone, you know how precious that feeling is, and how you know in your heart and bones that you would never act against that trust.

That trust in me aside, she had her own role to play in changing her life, in changing her future, and I had to sit, somewhat helpless, at the sidelines -- merely able to offer my love and support, but knowing that there was, in practice, nothing more I could do to make the coming weeks easier.

She knew what she had to do, and she also knew she was on a timeline.

In a few weeks, she was to have her bridal shower.  Friends and family would be flying in to present her with gifts.  To celebrate a future she has decided wasn’t to transpire.

Being the considerate and ethical woman that she is, she knew she had to have this most difficult of conversations before the shower.

She also knew that her past was not to be mixed with her future.  The place she found herself was not caused solely by her interaction with me, but, was a culmination of many other issues, likely spanning years.

Moving forward for the two of us couldn’t happen until Nook had that conversation...well, not just that conversation, but several.  Her family, some friends, there were a lot of people who were important in Nook’s life and deserved to know that things were about to change.

All I could do was offer to be there, emotionally, or physically.  If she asked me to be at her side, the next plane out would have me on it.

Most of us have had a relationship end at one point or another in our lives.  It’s never easy to say goodbye, to try to close a door and put an end to something which, at one time, meant so very much.  But there comes a moment where we know that we’re not living the life we want to live, that we are not sharing the special moments with the person who will appreciate them most, and we owe it to ourselves, and them, to move forward, separate.

And so the time drew near, when Nook had to move forward separately from her past so that she could move forward together, with me.